Sorry for not posting, but things have been pretty hectic. We are now in Guangzhou, and it hasn't been an easy couple of days. TianTian has ramped up the resistance and still won't have anything to do with me if Richard or Baba are anywhere within screaming distance. If they aren't around, she'll let me do things for her only if she ABSOLUTELY can't do them herself. We've had a few moments of true laughing and playing, but they are few and far between. It only seems to happen when she gets caught up in the moment and forgets that she's decided to hate me... Then suddenly she will remember and glare at me, and we start our little drama all over again.
This morning after two tantrums and 45 minutes of coercion, we got her down to breakfast. Then we went to Six Banyan (sp?) temple and she was blessed by one of the monks there. Then we went clothes shopping and jewelry shopping. I bought a few strings of pearls. Some for our kid's weddings, and one for myself, and a couple of gifts. I let TianTian get a little necklace (not pearls). After she picked it out from the display, I took it off the hook to give it to her, and she snatched it out of my hand and glared at me. Then after we bought clothes, she saw a pair of shoes that she wanted, and I wouldn't buy them for her, so she had a big tantrum...
I understand the resentment and fear and all that stuff, and intellectually I know it will take time and all of that, but it's much different to be in the middle of it. I feel really bad for Jason. He just can't take a break. If we go anywhere together, she literally hangs all over him, and has a meltdown if he gets out of her sight. I think he's starting to lose his patience, so I'm going to try and get him out of the hotel today to do some shopping for himself, all alone. I think he needs some space.
It's really difficult to know how to react to her. How much space do we give her and how much do we push? Obviously some things NEED to be done. With her diabetes, she needs to get her blood sugar checked and insulin shots and she needs to eat on a regular basis. When she runs into traffic, we need to stop her. But on the less necessary stuff, how much to we insist on? It's a fine line, and it's not easy to see it all the time. And if we let her get away with stuff, Quincy gets mad. He can't get away with that stuff, so why can she?
Obviously it will be different when we get home, but I have a feeling it's going to be a long 4 days until we get there. Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers.
Peace, love, joy and more peace,
Bridget
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6 comments:
Bridget -
My heart is going out to you. But like you said it will different once you are home.
Hope Jason gets something fun for himself while out today. :)
Saying prayers and sending {{Hugs}}
Cathy
Hi Bridget.
We have been following the blog. I feel for your situation. I would be very strict with Meg. She is going through a lot, but she needs to undetstand the limits. We were very firm and consistent with Sebastian and it was rough at first but it helped a lot in the end. Maybe you could limit the outings, that is a suggestiion that Robbie made to us. She is over whelmed by everthing. Hang in there it will get better.
hugs from the Haske's.
I would limit the outings and only do what is absolutely necessary outside. Our daughter did similar screaming in Guangzhou and my husband can really relate to the uncomfortable feeling of carying a screaming new daughter with everyone watching. It's tough. If your guide can communicate some basic behavior that you expect for "tinghua" good behavior with her new parents, that might be helpful. Right now she is very "bo tinghua" and that is not right. Our daughter Katie, who behaved similarly says she is probably "sad" and "angry." We stayed in the room and tried to keep things very simple. If you can find any little games to do in the room, that might help break the resistance a bit. We played cards and she enjoyed that quite a bit. It does get better once you are back home, but it is incremental and you will need patience and stamina for quite a while. Good luck. Laurie
Praying for you and Jason, Bridget. I can see how hard this is. You'll make it!!
Hang in there. Here's a big HUG for you! ((Bridget))
-Renee
YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS AND SOON THE PAIN OF THESE DAYS WILL DISSOLVE - HANG IN THERE DEAR MAMA!!!! Lisa
wow! what a challenge! I'm sure when things get into a routine at home she will be better. It is such a HUGE adjustment for her. I think about you guys often, and will remember you in my prayers.
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